The Glory of a Woman

From the age of six, I yearned to have lengthy tresses, so I could put them up into different "shapes."



Once I got older, caring for and styling my hair didn't come very naturally. Oftentimes it was tangled, greasy and a source of constant frustration. Ponytails, braids, and half-up-half-downs were the extent of my hair knowledge, and even those took numerous tries before I was satisfied.



"But if a woman has long hair, it is her glory. For her hair is given to her for a covering." --1 Corinthians 11:15.



Now that I'm older and more capable of caring for long hair, I'm constantly on the lookout for quick, easy hairstyles that look elegant.



My favorite "quick n easy" hair solution is the Lilla-Rose flexi-clip. It is elegant, sturdy, and extremely easy to use once you figure it out. In addition to looking beautiful, it protects my hair and if I put my hair up damp, it adds waves and body to the ends when I take it down. My only complaints are sometimes it pinches if I put it up wrong, and my hair can get tangled in the beads if I'm not careful. Other than that, it's the best hair accessory I've ever owned!

Some Thoughts on Modesty

17 February 2009

"For there are no locks, guards, or bolts that afford better protection to a maiden than does her own modesty."
-Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote

"Her modest looks the cottage might adorn, sweet as the primrose peeps beneath the thorn."
-Oliver Goldsmith, The Deserted Village

"Modesty is to merit, what shade is to figures in a picture; it gives it strength and makes it stand out."
-Jean de la Bruyere, The Characters or Manners of the Present Age

"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works."
-1 Timothy 2:9-10 KJV

Modesty:
The quality or state of being modest; that lowly temper which accompanies a moderate estimate of one's own worth and importance; absence of self-assertion, arrogance, and presumption; humility respecting one's own merit.
Natural delicacy or shame regarding personal charms and the sexual relation; purity of thought and manners; due regard for propriety in speech or action.
Synonyms:
bashfulness, celibacy, chastity, constraint, decency, delicacy, demureness, diffidence, discreetness, humbleness, humility, inhibition, innocence, lack of pretension, meekness, propriety, purity, quietness, reserve, reticence, self-effacement, simplicity, timidity, unobtrusiveness, unostentatiousness, unpretentiousness, virtue
-Dictionary.com

All women want to be beautiful. It is a natural tendency for our heart's to warm when someone gives us a nice compliment, or to look in the mirror and admire ourselves. When I go somewhere, I long to stand out and look so stunning that people comment, "What a pretty girl!" Certainly I want to dress modestly, but I can still joke around and be frivolous as long as I'm well-covered, can't I? But when I look at the definition of modesty, it tells me that modesty is essentially humility or "a sense of one's own unworthiness through imperfection and sinfulness"(dictionary.com). To put it bluntly, you can't exactly be modest and sexy at the same time. But we (unmarried women) aren't meant to be.

We are definitely meant to stand out, but in a different way. The bible says we're to be "shamefaced" and "sober". You're probably thinking what I was thinking when I read that. "Shamefaced and sober? Where's the fun in that?" But I was reminded of our pastor’s sermon on Sunday where he preached on Ecclesiastes 7:1-14. Out of all his good notes and explanations, the one that stood out to me the most was his comparison of New Year's Eve in Time's Square, and the incident of 9/11. New Year's Eve is a wonderful time! Everyone packs themselves into Time's Square and watches the ball drop and it's a time of celebration! But which glorified God more in the end? New Year's Eve with people getting drunk and having a good yet meaningless time, or a nation watching in horror, then seeking God in a time of crisis?

So should we go around wearing black bhurkas and frowns? Certainly not! We are to shine God's light in a dark world. Pastor Gerald made some really good points on Sunday and I wish you could've heard him because I can't really grasp it myself. How to be joyful and sober at the same time is one of the concepts I've struggled with. I suppose the scripture that best answers that question is Ecclesiastes 3:1, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..." I don't understand everything in the bible. But one thing I do know. As Christian women, we are called to be so chaste and modest that we stand out. Phillipians 2:15 says, "...become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and perverse generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe..." and when you think about it, what's more beautiful than a star?...

Am I A Feminist?

Several years ago, I was sitting in my English class at our local community college. My teacher was talking about words having positive and negative connotations attached to them. After giving a few examples he told us, "If you are a feminist, raise your hand." The class mainly being comprised of young redneck males, of course no one raised their hands.

"What? You don't think women should have the right to vote?" he asked us. He went on to explain how none of us wanted to be labeled a feminist because the word had a negative connotation. But what he said made me think. Having adopted a more conservative worldview, I certainly wouldn't call myself a feminist, yet I believe that women should have the right to vote, get a job, and earn a higher education if they feel God calling them to. Does that make me a feminist?

I believe the bible teaches that men and women are of equal value in God's sight, yet God created them for different purposes. After the fall, He made it very clear in Genesis 3:16-19 that the roles of men and women would be different. The woman would bear children and serve her husband, and the man would labor and provide for his family. On that subject, I appreciated the thought-provoking post Kristi's husband wrote over at Courageous Homekeeping and this part really stood out to me. "[Speaking to men] You bear the curse of sweat and toil in the ground from Genesis. Don't share that curse with your wife." That quote could also be switched and applied to women.

I don't believe this means that every woman's sole purpose in life is to get married and raise a family--some are called to be single for the glory of God. I also believe that sometimes, when the need arises, God calls women to rise up and lead. There were many women in the Old Testament as well as the New, whom we might consider feminists today, including Miriam (Exodus 15:24), Deborah (Judges 4-5), Esther (Esther 4-7), Ruth (Ruth 3), and Phoebe & Priscilla (Acts 16) among others. However, I believe that a woman's job first and foremost is to be a keeper of the home. Anything outside of that must be a clear calling from the Lord.

So am I a feminist? I suppose the answer is yes. I'm a biblical feminist. :)

Rainy Days

All this rainy weather is making me think of shiny red rainboots...



And big red umbrellas...



And adorable raincoats that are way too expensive...



Oh, the possibilities...

Birthday Goodies

On the morning of my birthday, I opened up a mysterious package to find this delightful one-piece from Unique Vintage.



It has a shirred overlay in the front and a full coverage bottom in the back so I won't need to wear shorts with it like other one-pieces I've owned in the past.



I also received some money to go shopping with, so it looks like I'll be making a visit to Goodwill! ;) If you're looking for a swimsuit that's both modest and cute, vintage is the way to go. There are a bunch of cute ones here. Happy hunting!

Summer Styles

As summer approaches I am getting more and more excited about the outfits that come with it. Especially now that the retro look is back in style. My favorite fashion era has always been the 40's and 50's. Feminine, flirty, flattering and glamorous characterizes the clothing of the mid 20th century!



With cute capped sleeves, slimming fitted waists, and full fun skirts, who wouldn't love these dresses?



While the swing dresses of the fifties are fun, the fitted dresses of the 40's have a very sophisticated look.



I love the charming sweetheart neckline and capped sleeves of the dress below!



With all these delicious dresses, it's too bad my wallet isn't fat enough to afford them. ;) But then again, I have far too many clothes as it is...

Pretty in Pleats

A few weeks back, I started altering a blue cotton skirt my grandmother gave me. (You can see that post here.) It was quite a feat for me since sewing is not my strong point, but I am happy to say I have finished and can't wait to wear it!



A white t-shirt, hat, heels, and matching jewelry complete the outfit.



I bought the hat from Target and sewed on a matching ribbon. It was an impulse buy, and I couldn't decide whether I liked it or not, but I've finally decided to keep it.



I think this outfit would be most suited to a tea or wedding. :)

Manners 101

Since I've gotten older (and my mother doesn't remind me anymore), my manners have been getting more and more lax. Even though our society doesn't really value or uphold manners anymore, I still want to make it my goal to be a well-mannered young lady who puts others first. So in 2009 I made a list of resolutions, one of which was taking a refresher course in etiquette. (You can read that post here.)

Though I didn't sign up for Manners 101, I did find several old etiquette books in my grandmother's basement that I've been reading. The one I'm going through now is called Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette, a Guide to Gracious Living. It was written in 1952 and given to my grandmother in 1955. Even though our society has changed a lot since then, amazingly, most of it still applies today! The following are some excerpts from chapter 23, "The Fastidious Well-Mannered Woman."

A Practical Beauty Routine
"A woman is well-groomed when she looks fresh, neat, clean, and well-pressed. This means a daily...shower or bath [and] fresh underwear and stockings daily...Hair must be brushed morning and night with a clean, firm brush and combed with a good comb that, like the brush, is frequently cleaned...A dirty comb or brush is as repellent as a bath towel used beyond its initial freshness." (I always reuse my bath towels :P)
"The fastidious woman understands how much the appearance of her hair has to do with that of her whole person...She has it styled in the way that stays neat and attractive longest, and she never combs her hair or does her nails in public." (I usually brush my hair, let it air dry and leave it down--the lowest possible maintenance. I also comb my hair and do my nails in public all the time...hehe.)

Changing for Dinner
"Every woman should change for dinner, if only into a clean house dress. Dinner is the high point of the day, the forerunner--it is to be hoped--of a free evening...Fresh clothes and make-up, even if you are to be alone with the children for a simple meal, are psychologically sound and bring a needed change in the day's pace. Fresh grooming for evening is one of the criteria of gentility." (This is one I fail horribly at. Most of the time when cooking dinner, my hair is usually a mess from rushing around the kitchen, my clothes often covered with flour, water, grease, or whatever ingredient I've been using, and I certainly don't appear "fresh." Yet a new change of clothes and a freshening of the complexion was standard for this age!)

How to Sit Comfortably and Gracefully
"You never see a product of Victorian days sprawled in a chair. Women trained in the austere etiquette of that time will invariably select the straightest, most uncompromising chair in the room and sit on it, spine straight...feet parallel and flat on the floor. On entering a room, try to select a chair or sofa that suits your height and figure...If you do sit on [the deep, wide, modern-style sofa] don't flop, then squirm back into position. Instead, seat yourself on the edge, then, placing your hands on the sofa, ease yourself back with a lifting motion." (I always flop and squirm into position when the sofa is deep. Oops.)
"There are good reasons to avoid [crossing the legs] as much as possible. First...it creates unattractive bulges on the leg and thigh crossed over. Secondly, it is said to encourage varicose veins by interfereing with circulation...It is much more graceful to sit, model-style, with the toe of one foot drawn up to the instep of the other and with the knees close together...[Crossing the legs] should not be done at the dinner table, in church, or at any formal occasion...When the legs are crossed, attention should not be called to the fact by bouncing the free foot." (Out of all the others, this area is probably the one where I have the most trouble. Because it's tiring to keep the knees drawn together all the time--especially through a long sermon!--I can frequently be found with legs crossed and the free foot bouncing energetically away!)

So far I've found this book extremely helpful (and embarrassing since I'm always doing what she says a lady ought not to!) But with Amy Vanderbilt guiding me and a lot of practice, perhaps I'll manage to pass for a lady someday. ;)

Some thoughts on lingerie...

Flowing, lacey, delicate, feminine allure. That is what lingerie used to be. But not anymore. For some reason, today's lingerie has always bothered me and for the longest time I couldn't figure out why. Then I finally pinned it down:

The majority of it seems vulgar and degrading (How can you say this is not degrading?)

Lingerie was originally designed to incite passion in a beautiful and feminine way.



I think the women in the 40's and 50's knew how to do it right. Their lingerie was modest enough to preserve mystery, and revealing enough to rouse a man's passion. Flowing robes, sheer peignoirs, silk dressing gowns...



Of course, I understand that wives are commanded to submit to their husbands and that both partners' wishes need to be honored, but I think it's perfectly possible to keep it classy and still score every time. ;)

I Am A Woman

I am a woman, called to be a servant
Bound by the grace that Your love imparts
Lord make me humble, teach me to follow;
Make me a woman of Your heart.

I am a woman, called to speak with wisdom
Shining a light that will lead to You.
Lord, give me courage to be Your witness;
Make me a woman of Your truth.

I am a woman, purchased by your mercy
Bought by the love that would spare no cost.
Lord, make me holy, loving you only;
Make me a woman of your cross.

--Claire Cloninger

The Season of Singleness

"When I get married..." How often have I heard this phrase? Feminists scorn to say it, yet conservative homeschool girls cling to it with something that sometimes borders desperation. Both bother me.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:7 that singleness is a gift! All of us are called to singleness. For some it may only be 18 or 20 years. For others perhaps 30. For a few, it may be a lifetime. The season of singleness is one of the few times in your life that are unburdened by the care of a spouse, or children--embrace it!

Instead of being discontent and longing for an earthly bridegroom, cultivate a relationship with the true bridegroom! "As a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you." --Isaiah 62:5

Look for ways you can serve others around you. Teenagers especially are at one of the rare stages that have minimal responsibilities and maximum capacity to serve. Many church volunteers are tired, burned-out parents who often have to neglect an area of their lives in order to serve the church while the teenagers--instead of giving back to the church--require spiritual babying. This is not how it should be! "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." This doesn't just mean be an example to the young believers...we should be an example to our elders too.

The day we stop daydreaming, look outside ourselves, and seek to serve others--that is the day we will find our true joy and fulfillment in Christ.