An Ever Present Help

I always return to this blog when I need to sort through my thoughts; to disentangle the frenzy of worries, impressions and emotions. Last time it was a loss in the family. This time a temporary derailment caused by some unexpected health issues. 

It all started with unexplained weight loss and shortness of breath, which I attributed to deconditioning due to a string of consecutive illnesses. (Viral pharyngitis followed by an upper respiratory tract infection followed by sinusitis). However, when I almost passed out waiting for the bus after work, I realized something was wrong.

The next day while working at the hospital, I had my first episode. Shortness of breath, dizziness/lightheadedness, rapid heartbeat, sweating, and tingling in the neck, abdomen and extremities. By God's grace I was at a nurse's station when the attack occurred. Instantly, I was surrounded by doctors and nurses assessing, taking vitals, and arranging transport to the ER.

The following few days were a roller coaster of blood tests, imaging, consults and conflicting diagnoses. The ER practitioner, after reviewing electrocardiograms, chest x-rays, blood tests, and asking about my busy schedule, promptly diagnosed me with a panic attack. I wrestled with the shock of her words. A panic attack? My pride rejected the thought. It conjured medieval images of hysteria and wandering womb.

I'm not an anxious person. Sure, I was working full time, taking an online class, volunteering with two different organizations, taking salsa lessons along with juggling church, small group, accountability group, road trips with our exchange student and the world of online dating, but I'm an organized person. I felt in control, albeit somewhat exhausted from the never-ending merry-go-round of to-do lists and activities.

My doctor, although agreeing that the symptoms were consistent with a panic attack, leaned more towards SVT (supraventricular tachycardia). It was common in young, otherwise healthy women, and could explain the heightened pulse with activity. I grasped at the possibility. Could it be that it was simply my heart? I understand that panick attacks are a real thing people suffer from. However, my pride couldn't accept the fact that my own body would betray me like that.

Throughout the ordeal I received many calls, e-mails, texts, and cards expressing well wishes and prayers. I'm blessed to have such a strong support network of friends, family, neighbors, coworkers and church members. I dropped my Linguistics class, took several days off work, and cancelled my social engagements. For five days I had to relearn how to stop, breathe, and do nothing except rest. I'd almost forgotten how. The hardest part was the anxiety of not knowing what was causing the attacks or when the next one would occur, leaving me helpless and gasping like a fish out of water.

On the nights when I lay awake stewing in fear, researching on my phone, and wondering what the true diagnosis was, God brought Psalm 46 to mind. "God is a refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear...God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns." This passage was my anchor in the midst of uncertainty.

I slowly started picking up the pieces of my derailed ego. I went back to work on restrictions. Weakened by the ordeal, I had to learn to ask for help and set limits. To explain to people why I couldn't take the stairs. Why I had to park at work instead of taking the bus. Why I always had to sit down and rest. Why I had to say no to tempting activities in favor of going home and resting instead.

After days of wrestling, I was finally able to lay aside my pride and make peace with the fact that these episodes might very well be panic attacks. If they are, I praise God because he used them to derail my prideful self-sufficiency and realize my dependence on Him. If it's my heart, He is equally sovereign and I know He will use this experience for His glory and my growth.

Resolutions vs. Life Changes

Let me paint you a picture. I am the type of person who hates working out. I am the type of person who rolls their eyes at gluten-free fanatics then goes to the Dollar General and binges on high-fructose corn syrup candy and yellow dyed snacks. However, due to some health problems I've battled in the past few years, I have had to make some life changes. For those of you looking to do the same, I thought I would share some of my more successful battle tactics with you.

1. Gradual changes

You don't do a P90X workout without warming up. You don't play a complicated game without a practice round. How can you expect to make a significant life change in one day after years of ingrained habits? For example, in November I eliminated dairy products from my diet; in December I eliminated gluten; in February I will be eliminating refined sugars. Can you imagine if I had attempted to eliminate all of these items from my diet at once? Ha.

2. Substitute

Sometimes you replace a habit with a habit, but if it's a healthier habit that's still a step in the right direction. Plan ahead so that when you're caught in the moment, a substitute is already in place. For sugar cravings at work, I keep sugarless gum and dried fruit on hand. Rather than sitting at a desk all day, I created a stand-up desk. Rather than playing on my phone during my lunch break, I take a walk around the building. These are all small examples of "subbing" that lead to an overall healthier lifestyle.   

3. Let go of the "all or nothing" mentality.

Expecting 100% perfection is setting yourself up for failure. Give yourself grace. It's okay to take a day off now and then. So when someone offers you homemade cinnamon rolls that they have slaved over for three hours, don't be that obnoxious person that says, "Oh, I'm on a diet." Eat the darned cinnamon rolls, then get back in the saddle. People are more important.    

Raw Eggs

When my siblings and I were little, my mother would never let us eat batter with raw eggs in it because of the risk of salmonella poisoning. Now that I'm older and can cook by myself, I often sample my raw batter to make sure it is good before I pop it in the oven. (My mother still scolds me when she catches me ;) Yet with all the people out there that eat cookie batter, I never hear of very many salmonella cases from raw eggs. So I did a little research.

Salmonella is a bacteria that is caused by fecal to oral contamination. It can be found on raw meat, raw eggs, unpasteurized dairy products, and on reptiles (cdphe).

According to ehow.com, one in 20,000 eggs are infected with salmonella and around 400 people die from salmonella poisoning every year in the U.S. Some other sources said 600. (*Note: not all the salmonella deaths were caused by eating raw eggs. Salmonella can be contracted in a variety of ways) People with weak immune systems such as the elderly, and children under 5 are especially susceptible to Salmonella (ehow).

However, I also found some other interesting facts regarding Salmonella and raw eggs. Apparently, eggs contain natural antibiotic proteins, two of which are ovotransferrin and lysozyme. These proteins deplete the amount of iron, which is essential for bacterial growth, and destroy the cell walls of some bacteria. This defense is important because bacteria can penetrate through cracks and fissures in the eggshell (international).

According to the FDA and the CDC, raw eggs and unpasteurized dairy products are to be avoided like the plague. Yet I have talked with people who have grown up eating things with raw eggs in them and drinking unpasteurized dairy products. With the mind-boggling amount of conflicting research out there, it is hard to know what is best. However, I think that as long as the environment is kept clean (e.g. clean nesting boxes for the hens, proper sterilization methods for dairy tools and containers) natural is healthier. Besides, I've been eating batter with raw eggs in it for years and I haven't died yet. ;) What about you? Do you eat raw batter or is that a strict no no?

Sources

http://www.international.inra.fr/press/natural_defences_of_the_egg
http://www.cdphe.state.co.us/dc/epidemiology/salm_fs.html

http://www.ehow.com/facts_5179695_raw-eat-healthy-cooked-eggs_.html

10 Steps to Living Healthier

Living on a college campus, it is so difficult to live healthy sometimes. Many of the meal options provided at the cafeteria are greasy, fatty, processed foods. In addition, living on a small budget makes it even harder to buy fresh fruits and vegetables when I do have the chance to go to the store. So, I have decided that I'm going to make an effort to eat (and live) healthier. To help me in this goal, I have outlined 10 simple steps.

1. Drink only water. I essentially already do this. Everywhere I go, I always request water as it is cheaper (and healthier!) However, I would like to up my intake to about 36 ounces per day.

2. Eat 1 dessert per week. This one will be difficult and I am already in the process of working up to it. Hopefully it will help me to choose my desserts wisely and improve my self-control.

3. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables every day. This resolution is a lot harder because I don't always have the access (or the money) to buy produce. However, I have already gotten into the habit of eating soup and salad every day at the cafeteria, so all I really have to worry about is the fruit.

4. Join an exercise class and consistently attend. Already started this one! One of the nice things about the University I attend is we are allowed to attend fitness classes for free. I have joined a Christian yoga class called Renew that I love. We listen to a lot of Natalie Grant and Point of Grace music as we practice slow, calming stretches and positions.

5. Be consistent in my quiet time. It has been scientifically proven that a sound mind makes a sound body. I always notice a difference in my day when I skip (or forget about) my quiet time in the mornings. I need to carve out a time in my mornings to slow down and spend time in prayer with the Lord.

6. Walk more and take the bus less. When it is cold or when I'm running late, the bus system is a huge blessing! But when the weather is nice and I have time, it's always very relaxing to walk back to my dorm instead of taking the bus. Not to mention the exercise is beneficial!

7. Go to bed earlier. Most of the time my afternoons are spent doing homework. As a result, cramming social events, as well as alone time into the evenings can push my bedtime back. But when you have a 7:40 class the next morning, it's hard to wake up and concentrate on what the professor is saying. So I'd like to be in bed every night by 10:00 pm.

8. Keep a Meals Log. I started this on Monday. Writing down what I eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks will (hopefully) help me regulate what I eat and find areas I need to improve in.

9. Memorize more scripture and sing hymns. There is nothing so calming as reciting a verse or singing a hymn as you go about your day. I've noticed that my attitude is a lot calmer and more peaceful when I do this walking to (or from) classes.

10. Be joyful! When you have a huge load of homework pressing down on you and you have to balance time between old friends, new friends, staying connected with family, and keeping up with academics, life can get very stressful and it's easy to become overwhelmed. I need to slow down, take life in, and be joyful!!!

What about you? What are some ways that you stay healthy?