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Monday, March 19, 2012

How to Be a Fashionista

*Disclaimer: This post is not meant to be taken seriously. It is simply a good-humored poke at modern fashion.

Base: Every outfit needs a base. It is the canvas of your masterpiece. Here I give 5 simple steps to take a pair of jeans and turn them into a fashion staple.

Step 1: Cut holes in jeans.
Step 2: Rub dirt on jeans.
Step 3: Pour bleach on jeans.
Step 4: Crumple into a wad and let sit overnight until wrinkles are firmly set.
Step 5: Wear.

Top: The top is the second most important layer. The top states whether you are a fashionista or a frumpanista.

Step 1: Find a top that is bright. Really bright. Preferably neon with stripes. (Be sure to buy it 3 sizes too large)
Step 2: Pinch shoulder seam between thumb and forefinger.
Step 3: Take scissors and cut hole.
Step 4: Take excess material, wad it up, and pin it to the front of your shirt.
Step 5: Wear.

Hair: The messy 'do. Never has it been so easy.

Step 1: Get really sweaty.
Step 2: Put your hair up in a scrunchy
Step 3: Sleep on it.
Step 4: Get out of bed in the morning.
Step 5: Voila!

Shoes: Shoes are simple. The higher the better. And if it has fur or metal studs, buy two pairs.

4 comments:

Hosanna said...

LOL!!! This had me in stitches. Too funny - and so dead on! :)

The Kings daughter said...

Wow Catherine! Your sense of fashion has certainly changed since I last saw you. :)This made me smile, and yet, I would say you aren't far off from the truth. :) Speaking of "since I last saw you"...it has been way too long! I miss you girl!

Catherine said...

Joanna,
It has definitely been way too long. I miss you too, and I hope your family is doing well. :)

Windblown Skyward said...

Loved it! One point though, the jean sizes also need to be about two sizes too small. ;)
- Alice