I stare across acres of knife-sharp marble whetted by wind and ice. At the summit a lone pine tree stands; held fast by rock-bound roots. I hesitate; firm earth and gnarled limb support my body--worn to rubber by the hike. You may never have another chance. Go...
Have you ever carried a burden? A burden so great that it made your chest hurt and caused you physical problems from stress? I have. Then yesterday I realized something. I don't have to carry it.
Human beings are funny creatures sometimes. We go through life accumulating burdens, adding to our ever-increasing load, then wonder why we feel stressed and burnt out.
For a long time I didn't know what was wrong with me. I couldn't understand why the zest had gone out of life--why I felt like there was a giant stone sitting on my chest all the time. The burden I carried was hindering my physical, emotional, and spiritual life.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” --Matthew 11:28-30
Though Christ never promised the Christian life would be free from burdens, He did promise He would give us rest, and His burden is so much lighter than the ones we inflict on ourselves--the burdens we were never meant to carry.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith" --Hebrews 12:1-2a
The race is already marked out for us, dear friend. We only need to let go of the burdens that hinder, fix our eyes on Christ, and run.
I have literally written hundreds of pages this semester. Analytical papers, research papers, book responses, short stories, peer reviews--you name it, I've written it. There are nine days left in the semester. I am two 10-page papers and four final exams away from freedom. And I'm burned out.
So yesterday I took a bottle of bubbles outside, breathed a prayer through the glistening wand, and watched my cares spiral away on the wind.
Then this song came to my head:
"Oh soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There's light for a look at the Savior,
and life more abundant and free..."
"...Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face,
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace..."
Even though I am weary and jaded, these short nine days are nothing compared to eternity. In one hundred years I won't look back and say, "I got a 93 on my research paper," or "I got an 87 on my Grammar Final," because it won't matter. These temporary cares are like bubbles: they spin in a dizzying dance, fade, and disappear. The only thing that matters is Jesus.
Are you weary and care-worn? Burdened by worry and fear? Cast your cares upon Him, dear friend, for He cares for you.
Recently, I had the privelege of attending a Junior/Senior Gala put on at my university by the Student Government Association. The theme was The Golden Age of Hollywood: The 30's and 40's.
A friend graciously offered to arrange my hair since I am far from proficient at it. (It's difficult when you have no long-haired siblings to practice on, and there's only so much you can do with Barbie dolls.)
Most attendees wore lovely prom dresses and bridesmaid gowns--I attempted to stay somewhat true to the period and donned a gray, wool, sheath dress from Goodwill. (Quite old based on the discoloration and moth holes in the lining though the outside was pristine.)
It was cheaper to buy two tickets, so a girl on my hall and I went together as "dates."
The weather was lovely and promised a pleasant night.
The event itself involved a live jazz band, hors d'oeuvres, goody bags filled with candy, raffle prizes, some illegal swing dancing, and tiny champagne bottles filled with "bubbles" since alocohol is forbidden on campus. Lots of pictures and an M&M catching contest closed out the night. :)
Thanking God for the blessing of a snow day.
Time to rest and reflect...
and enjoy His creation.
Tromping through the woods...
witnessing little glimpses of His shekinah glory. I hope you all are enjoying the snow before it melts. :)
Learning to be still in the quiet moments
thanking God for the gift of the present
and the boundless horizon of the future...
Sweet fellowship with Christ-lovers
and glorious evening sunshine that lights from within
A sweet gift from a friend
Silent reminders to bloom where God plants me...
The only thing carrying me through this last grueling week of papers and tests is the thought of rest at the end of it.
To soak my cares away...
To enjoy a hot cup of tea and fresh-baked scones and a long quiet time with the Lover of my soul...
To pick a big bunch of daffodils and bury my nose in them...Spring break, come to me quickly!
Academia is a very demanding sphere. No more demanding than any other, but the presence of deadlines and the huge burden of parents' and professors' expectations can sometimes make it extremely stressful.
The other day I simply ran out of steam. I honestly didn't know how I was going to press through the next two weeks until spring break. I was at the end of my rope and in desperation I reached out to grasp God's.
For the last few weeks I had barely been keeping my head above water, and every spare moment I resorted to various forms of entertainment to help me forget all the things looming over me for a few hours. Novels during my lunch breaks and movies at night were the only things keeping me going. Or so I thought.
In reality they were draining me. Instead of using that time to recharge for the work ahead of me, I was wasting it in idle pleasure. Yes, it was pleasant to forget my responsibilites for a time, but when the credits rolled and the chapter ended my responsibilities were still there, waiting for me.
So when I got out of class one day and realized I couldn't go on, I prayed to God. He led me to the Prayer Chapel located a short distance from my class building. I walked in, faintly hoping it would be empty...It wasn't.
There were about ten other people in various attitudes and positions around the chapel. Some sitting in pews, some leaning against the walls, some fervently praying, others silently pouring their hearts out. I walked about halfway to the front and sat down to pray. I wish I could say all the stress just rolled off me right there...It didn't.
After I finished praying, I decided to walk back to my dorm and enjoy the beautiful weather. When I got back my work was waiting for me, same as always. But this time, I didn't lock myself in my room and spend the afternoon slogging through it. I didn't go on Netflix and waste a few hours entertaining myself. I got a blanket with my devotional, my bible, and a book of Puritan prayers and I went out to enjoy the day.
Sprawling in the delicious sunshine, I opened my devotional and this is what greeted me:
"The God of peace...make you complete in every good work to do His will." --Hebrews 13:20-21
"Become complete. Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you." --2 Corinthians 13:11
"Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God." --2 Corinthians 3:5
"[Jesus] said..."Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while." --Mark 6:31
and best of all:
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul." --Psalm 23:1-2
Peace, rest, restoration...the words were like a healing balm. And for the first time in months, wrapped in my soft blanket, the sun shining down and the wind gently blowing over me, I truly rested. Not the fruitless distractions and empty entertainment the world gives. But authentic, peaceful rest.
I wasn't outside long. Maybe 30 or 40 minutes at the most. But when I came back inside I felt rejuvenated. Refreshed. At peace. And as I worked away on papers, reading assignments and study guides, I enjoyed one of the most restful afternoons I have ever experienced.
I am not saying movies and novels are always bad. But why waste two fruitless hours in empty entertainment, when the Shepherd of your heart is waiting to restore your soul?...
Tonight the Knitting Club of 33-1 held its first meeting!
A girl on my hall named Heidi who is an avid knitter decided to start up a Knitting Club every Monday night at 7:00 pm. She and I were the only attendees tonight, but we are hoping to get some more girls involved in the future. She's going to teach me how to purl, and do a seed stitch, and a rib stitch! Having only straight-stitched scarves and washcloths, I am excited to learn how to make new things and fellowship with girls that enjoy knitting as much as I do. :)
For several months now, I've been trying to make my dorm room less like a cell and more like a home. It's been difficult to say the least, but it's finally starting to come together.
Thanks to the kindess of a friend in letting me borrow her duck tape, I was finally able to hang my painting up today!
Though it's relatively small compared to the amount of empty space on our wall, it brightens the room considerably!
There's nothing like a floral quilt to create a homey atmosphere. I love to curl up on this one and read. :)
Over Christmas break, my mom and I found this cute bookshelf at a local thrift shop for $10! It serves very nicely to hold our numerous textbooks and small collection of DVDs.
A lace prayer shawl spread atop it and a basket of silk flowers add a feminine touch that softens the room.
Though I still got a little homesick, it was easier to settle in this time and having little items of beauty and color about makes for a more pleasant atmosphere. :)
A college dorm is probably the most difficult place on earth to create a homey atmosphere. White, cement-block walls and grimy, tile floors sometimes make me feel like I'm returning to my containment cell after class. Living on an extremely small budget makes decorating doubly difficult.
Luckily, God has given me everything I need to bring the beauty of His creation inside. :)
So every week, I go on a leaf walk to replenish my windowsill decor.
And what would a dormroom be without a beautiful autumn screensaver to brighten one's day?
Leaves: $0.00
Screensaver: $0.00
Total: Free! :)
Although I could easily write a 3-page post of things I dislike about Liberty, in my determination to be positive, I am going to write a much shorter list of likes instead. ;)
1. David's Place. David's Place is a small music building at North Campus devoted entirely to the music/worship department. They have sound-proof music rooms with really nice pianos where you can go and practice for hours. Sheer bliss!
2. The trail. I just discovered a lovely little trail that runs from our dorm on south campus to the dining hall at main campus. It's very pretty and peaceful. A perfect place to stroll leisurely along and collect your thoughts after a busy day.
3. The coffee shops. On Liberty's campus there are two Jazzman's Cafes and one Starbucks. So far my favorite things to get are: the blueberry muffin, the chai glazed pumpkin muffin, the strawberries and creme frappucino, and the caramel apple spice. I just have to be careful not to make a habit of it. ;)
4. The library. Although this place has an extremely long list of dislikes to go with it, the library is probably one of my favorite places. There are so many books I want to read and so little time to read them! They also have a whole wall of dvds. This is another place I have to be careful of, especially when I have a lot of homework to do! ;)
5. Studying on my brother's blanket outside. On these gorgeous September days it's so delightful to grab my books and escape the dreary dorm for awhile. I don't know what I'm going to do when winter rolls around and I'm cooped up all the time. What an awful thought!
Well, I hope I've given you a little taste of college life. And if you think it's all roses and sunshine, think again. I could go on forever about the crowded buses, the endless stream of homework, and the awful food. But I won't. :) Embrace wherever God has you. (And if you live in the country, consider yourself doubly blessed!!!)
Ever since I was little, I'd always accepted things without question, assuming that people would always tell the truth. It wasn't until I turned 18 that I really started testing what people said and forming my own beliefs and convictions.
Since I've come to Liberty, I've been flooded on all sides by different professors' beliefs, doctrines, and opinions. Although these are Christian professors, I still have to be on my guard and test everything I hear.
One thing I have noticed about Liberty is they are very pro-dating. They partner male and female dorms together in hopes people will meet and get married. Faculty and professors are always encouraging guys to ask girls out.
This bothers me. First of all, a lot of these students are dating for the wrong reasons. Security, status, fun, etc. Second of all, I don't believe God is telling me, "Okay, one of these 12,000 students is your future husband. Now it's your job to go and find him." I believe God is powerful enough to bring my future spouse and I together in His perfect timing without my help.
So instead of wasting my time and emotions husband hunting, I choose to use this time to grow closer to the Lord so that if and when I do meet my husband, I'll be more prepared for marriage. It's extremely hard to be single sometimes when everyone around me is dating, but I truly believe God will honor this decision.
Sorry it has been so long since I posted. As I expected, these first few days have been nothing short of hectic what with getting settled, filling out all sorts of forms, attending classes, doing homework, etc. Anyway, I thought I'd take you on a virtual tour of my dorm room.
As you come in the door on the left side of the room are our handy dandy hand towels, sink and mirror where we brush our teeth and wash the dishes, Caitlin's minifridge, minifreezer and microwave with our dishrack on top, and Caitlin's desk.
On the right side of the room is our spacious closet. My side is on the left and Caitlin's is on the right. (And in case you were wondering, we didn't plan for it to be symmetrical, it just worked out that way ;) We're planning on buying some sort of curtain to place across the closet, but for now the bar makes a very convenient place to hang towels and washcloths.
The top of my dresser. (If you're feeling lost, my side of the closet is immediately to the right and the bed is to the left.)
Straight in front of you as you walk in the door are the bunk beds, our little pantry shelf, and my desk. (I sleep on the top bunk.)
This is the place where all the homework happens and although it's only the first week, there's plenty of it to keep me busy. As far as other details go, I've been doing lots of walking (Liberty has a large campus), I've learned a lot about frugal living, and I really miss the country. Today I took the bus up to Liberty Mountain just to find space to breathe. Being around so many people all the time is extremely exhausting and I miss the peace and solitude of the country. Luckily I've been too busy to think much about being homesick, and I already love Liberty University. :)
Today was a perfect day for packing. Though I had already been stowing things in my plastic storage container, I still had to round up a few odds and ends and pack my clothes. My mom brought me a cup of hot chai tea and some buttered cranberry raisin walnut bread while I worked. It was very leisurely, sipping hot tea whilst sitting on my floor and listening to the rain outside. I would take breaks and go about my normal day, then come back to packing.
My sweet brother Michael lent me his ipod to take with me to college and even showed me how to use it. He has two, so it wasn't totally sacrificial. ;) And Christopher is letting me take his blue blanket. I love hand-me-downs because they remind me of the person who gave them to me.
My room looks slightly empty now, which is kind of sad. But one thing I know for certain. I am a very blessed girl...
A week from today I will be leaving for college. Needless to say, it has been chaos around here trying to pack and tie up all the loose ends. I realize I have had a very melancholy attitude about leaving, so I thought I would try to post something a bit more positive.
Despite my reluctance to leave my comfort zone, I know God has something big in store for me at Liberty. I am extremely blessed to have the opportunity to go to a private Christian college debt-free. I realize that there are thousands of people who would love to be in my shoes.
I will be meeting new people and learning new things as I work toward my English degree. I am also very lucky to be rooming with Caitlin Rauscher--someone I already know and get along with. :) Another plus side of going to Liberty is the Christian atmosphere. The advantage of a Christian school is the opportunity to grow spiritually. And the fact that I know a lot of people that go there is always a bonus.
So although it will be very hard to leave my home of 19 years, I keep moving forward with the realization that I am stepping into a new and more exciting chapter of my life...
